After watching the Detroit mayoral debate on Tuesday my heart is filled with joy knowing that each and every person can rise to astonishing heights despite severe personal handicaps. I didn’t count how many people were running, but I can tell you that each and every one of them has overcome some serious limitations to get where they are today. As for the debate itself, well, that is what you would expect from the fine City of Detroit. Highlights include, race-baiting, blatant lies, excessive pandering, and my personal favorite, socialist rhetoric. Nothing says “comeback” quite like regurgitating debunked political theories.
However, there was one ray of hope in this otherwise cloudy and dismal display, Sigmunt John Szczepkowski. Mr. Szczepkowski works as a motivational speaker for today’s youth, from as far as I can tell anyway. His state of the art campaign headquarters is located at the foot of Alter road, in a van down by the river, from where he coordinates his all out assault on the Manoogian Mansion. Normally, I don’t vote for or endorse any candidate whose last name ends in a vowel, but in this case I have to give my endorsement to Mr. Szczepkowski. Even if it is just for his striking resemblance to Matt Foley. Unfortunately, he’s about as erudite as a meth-addicted hobo.