Happy 237th Birthday America


General James Mattis expounds on the finer points of American diplomacy. If I were you, I would listen to him. You don’t get the name “Mad Dog” for making idle threats.

Battle of Baltimore237 years ago, a fledgling upstart nation decided to put it all on the line for freedom. The founders of this country decided the best way to do that was to write a lengthy memo to the world’s superpower of the day, essentially telling them where they could go stick it and why, and then hope for the best.  Shockingly, the superpower of the day didn’t appreciate the memo and promptly sent an army to learn this rogue nation some respect, but that little nation of 13 colonies beat back the larger, and largely superior, force and lives in freedom to this day.

169 years after they brazenly declared their independence from the tyranny of high taxes and unreasonable regulations, the then forty-eight states of The United States of America emerged from a ghastly World War as the greatest superpower the world has ever seen. They accomplished something that took centuries for the Roman Empire, Ottoman Empire, British Empire, and others, in a mere 169 years. Today, that nation reigns not only as a bastion of freedom, but as the undisputed badass of the globe.


These guys had a few words with that Hitler fellow.

The U.S. Army, while not the largest active army in the world with a mere 561,437 personnel, is far and away the most superior. From its humble origins in 1775, it has risen to be the most respected professional fighting force in the world. Today, there is no nation that can stand against it in a division-on-division engagement, even the USSR in the height of The Cold War considered such a prospect tantamount to suicide.


From an original six frigates in 1794, the U.S. Navy built a combat fleet of 288 ships, 11 of which are aircraft carriers. Most nations struggle to field one carrier group (Welcome to the club, China!), our great nation fields 11. The U.S. Navy doesn’t just have control of the seas, it rules them. The U.S. Navy is larger than the world’s next 13 navies, combined.

Both of the above forces are impressive, but just in case you were still stuck on the fence on trying to pull the pain train into Grand Central Station, the U.S. Air Force has 436 intercontinental ballistic missiles sitting ready in nuclear harden bunkers ready to open the gates of hell and turn your country into a glass parking lot.

Does all this badass come cheap? Yes actually, in a relative sense it does. You see, the U.S. only spends 4.6% of its gross domestic product on our military. Our spending on our world’s best armed forces ranks us 19th in the world. That 4.6% is a freedom tax. That’s less than our 6% sales tax in Michigan that gets us, well uh, some nice state parks and droves of unemployable degenerates who grow fatter on our dime.

Happy Birthday, America.