GP For Life A New Day Dawns Mon, 27 Feb 2017 00:17:44 +0000 en-US hourly 1 52455716 Grosse Pointers Come Together – Not Apart Thu, 23 Feb 2017 02:09:15 +0000

Aaron Foley, noted local author and editor, first reported that three women felt they were racially-discriminated against at a local eatery in Grosse Pointe Farms on Saturday February 18, 2017.  While I initially suspected that this was a simple miscommunication, I remained relatively quiet on the issue. Forgoing my usual barrages of demanding proof and evidence of the accusations levied against one of our small-business owners. As picketers mobbed the small business hurling accusations of racism, the lawyer of the proprietor quietly held a press conference at another local small business, where he showed evidence contradicting the claims of three Grosse Pointe women. In the light of this evidence, I feel I have to come forward and submit my view of the subject.

There is something wrong in America today when relatively young, successful, attractive, and presumably educated, women feel they are victims. These women are our neighbors in a community that mimics the national demography in terms of race, but not in income or educational attainment. It is wrong for them to feel like victims in their own community for simply being asked to move from a bar. These women, in other lights, should be held up as role models to others; not nailing themselves to the cross of victimhood. In short, the social justice warrior mentality has gone too far. We must reverse this dangerous and counterproductive course our nation and community is on.

One of the three women in question went as far as filing assault charges against the manager of the establishment. Though, video evidence of the allegations would suggest that no assault occurred. After the new evidence came to the public’s attention, cries for retaliatory justice weren’t far behind. False accusations of assault and racism do not sit well with me, but I think we, as a community, need to take a different tack.

We need to embrace our neighbors. They should be given the opportunity to drop their charges and move on with their lives. Their unwarranted and unfounded allegations were not hurled in a vacuum. At one time, Grosse Pointe was not the welcoming community it is today. It is something we have to live with. That is not to say these allegations were not heinous and wrong and that the accusers were not wrong. It is to say that we should forgive each other for the past and move forward together to build a stronger community. These women are Grosse Pointers after all, and we take care of each other. Even if, we might not have been entirely in the right.

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You’re Going To Do What? Tue, 08 Nov 2016 01:45:43 +0000 youre-going-to-do-what

As an important member of the Grosse Pointe community, people oftentimes seek out my council on matters pertaining to the paragon of communities in which we live. One such concerned citizen brought a plan to dissolve Grosse Pointe into a cauldron of peasantry to my attention. My immediate reaction to this heresy was to wish that the author be felled by pancreatic cancer and to curse a pox upon his family and all their descendants till the end of time. After a little further consideration and contemplation, I have downgraded my level of vitriol to post-Inquisition levels of disdain. However, make no mistake, what the author suggests is pure heretical balderdash.

Before I point out the blunders in the author’s myopic and destructive vision, let me first point out some of the things he got correct. The author’s vision for a form of public transit to connect the east side together is a bold step in the right direction. Just think about it. A trolley that could take you to the other side of Vernier! If that actually existed, I might visit Josef’s more than once a year. Ever since my tailor relocated, I don’t think I have been to the other side of Vernier, and that’s been at least eight months! A more developed trolley network might allow me to visit more of our great community without fear of unreasonable prosecution for my lifestyle choices. God knows the cops on Mack can really be a pain to deal with when you have had six or seven after-work drinks.

However, I wouldn’t just stop there. I think we need a trolley system to get us to the heart of our region, downtown Detroit. Taking an Uber down to Bouzouki’s on a Friday afternoon, after cutting out of work at 11am, is just adding costs to an already expensive hangover cure. Also, it’s not very green. One of Grosse Pointe’s strongest selling points is its proximity to downtown. Why not capitalize on it?


You can already tell buzzcut knows who is going to “show him where the restroom is.”

From here, it only goes down faster than a bridesmaid after six shots of Fireball and a Xanax. The author goes on to describe, in vague detail, a system by which we would strive to exclusively buy goods and services from east side businesses, and in the process showcasing his profound ignorance of the concept of comparative advantage.  If I wrote a post every time someone from the not-for-profit sector wrote a piece that showed a demonstrable lack of common economic knowledge, I wouldn’t be able to afford to purchase the love and attention my sterile childhood deprived me of (thank God for European au pairs).

Sadly, this dumpster fire rages on when the author proposes to open our resident-only parks to the unwashed masses. I cannot fathom why we in Grosse Pointe should pay for our impeccably manicured parks to be soiled by the proletarian hordes and their “family reunions.” Why must people try to encroach on our safe spaces with their silly ideas of “inclusion” and “equality?” There’s more public parks surrounding Grosse Pointe than there are in Grosse Pointe. Just because you’ve trashed them and your elected officials siphoned money away from their upkeep to fund stripper-murder cover-ups, doesn’t mean you can come and destroy our property.


How’d that one guy catch a dog?

Also, this traitor wants to allow public access to our lake front! Oh, that’s just what we need to liven the area up, a bunch of people yanking catfish out of the water and grilling them up on Lakeshore. I am sure the residents who live there will really appreciate that. That should do wonders for our taxable property values. Why not just rezone the whole area for used-car dealerships?

Of course, the author goes on to describe how this could improve “diversity” and other common dog whistles of Social Justice Warriors everywhere, but there’s only so much blasphemy a man can take. What this grandiose “final solution” doesn’t consider is a direct approach at revitalizing the hardest-hit areas of the east side of Detroit. It completely ignores the most obvious, which is where there is little, much can be built. The Jefferson-to-Mack and Conner-to-Alter rectangle is one of the most desolate areas in the city, despite the relative vibrancy and vitality of the neighboring Jefferson/Chalmers neighborhood. I believe we have to start there before we can move on to reinvigorate more affluent areas of the region. Not only do we have to do that from an economic perspective, but I feel we it owe it to the people of Detroit.

As many of you know, I don’t just point out the flaws in people’s thinking, I suggest solutions. With this in mind, I suggest that the City of Detroit deed the Jefferson-to-Mack and Conner-to-Alter land, utilizing eminent domain powers, to the Michigan Department of Natural Resources (DNR) to create a wildlife preserve that could be used to teach the youth of Detroit about hunting and fishing. Along with, other outdoor activities like camping and woodsmanship.  Why should these things remain inaccessible to our city-bound youth?  The DNR could, with limited remediation, turn the area into natural prairie land where pheasants could be stocked. Flooded wetlands, where migratory waterfowl could pause on their perilous journey south for the winter. Young lush forests where Detroit’s youth could learn basic outdoors skills, without ever having to leave the city proper. Imagine the effect that would have on the lives of the residents of the Jefferson/Chalmers neighborhood, and their property values? We can take a crime-plagued desolate area of the city and turn into a hands-on educational experience for the city’s youth!

I am GP For Life, and I hope we share the same vision for the region.

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Not The Hero GP Deserves – The Hero GP Needs Thu, 17 Mar 2016 00:57:11 +0000 tumblr_m6n3hvGb9f1ql8i93o3_500

Some of you troglodytes have no doubt been wondering where I have been. Well, much like Bruce Wayne I had to flee the trappings of my apparent princeship. Unlike him, I had to do so at the urging of my legal counsel. Apparently, my legal team needed some time to sort out the age-old legal question: “How 18 was she?”.

Exiled in a far away and exotic land, I was of course recognized for my natural leadership and striking good looks. Soon, I found that I had ascended to yet another position in which I was trapped by my own influence and hemmed-in by those who would seek to peddle it. Just as I was steeling myself to cast it all aside, yet again, I felt icy fingers grip the base of my spine.

Through space and time I heard the agonies of my people call out to me. I ascended up from the darkness into the light. My people needed me.

What threat could be so dire that it required me to return? Something that I could never imagine happening in my quiet and stoic hamlet. The blatant kowtowing to the political correctness idols. Thousands of souls of our GP ancestors cried out at once. Loud enough, it would seem, to summon me back to my homeland.

Now, I am not defending what these idiots did. I don’t know even know why they did it? For all I know they could be making some sort of racial justice statement. All I know, is that they’re stupid and their parents should probably perform a post-birth abortion, preferably with a large-caliber handgun.

However, I will not stand idly by while the great paragon of learning and justice that is Grosse Pointe South High School walks the foolish path of the Social Justice Warrior. The current administration and school board has no right to destroy the bedrock which was laid by countless exceptional students and teachers.

It is time for a change at the helm of Grosse Pointe South and Grosse Pointe School Board. We must oust those who bow before the false gods of political correctness weighed down by their own white guilt. Our children should be lead by the pure of heart and mind. We must purge the heretics.

Till they can be purged, I urge everyone to write and call the school board members and the principal to tell them that we are GP, and we stand united.

Moussa Hamka, Principal, Grosse Pointe South, 313-432-3504,, Twitter: @hamka_moussa

You may email the Grosse Pointe School Board Members here: or call the central school board office at 313-432-3000.

Fourth Was Bad Enough Wed, 23 Apr 2014 20:43:40 +0000 What do Warren Mott and Cass Technical High Schools have in common? Give up? They’re both ranked higher than Grosse Pointe South and North High Schools.

This ordinal fact is not what one would expect, but according to U.S. News & World Report’s 2014 Best High Schools List released on April 22, it would be the case. While U.S. News & World Report’s methodology for their rankings is to say the least, suspect, it is still well followed and frequently cited. How exactly Grosse Pointe South can go from fourth in their rankings to not ranked in one year is a bit of a mystery to me.

Let’s say you get a job offer at a recovering car company and you were going to move your family to metro Detroit, but to which suburb? Chances are good that part of your research would involve typing “best school systems in Michigan” into Google.

For generations the Grosse Pointe Public School System’s preeminence would have been a foregone conclusion, but today there is a dark pall cast over our pedagogical supremacy. What do you think happens to your home’s value when U.S. News & World Report ranks Warren Mott over Grosse Pointe South? I won’t belabor the obvious ramifications for property values in the community, but it is suffice to say that property values are directly related to our school system.

Some of my consternation, and our failure, is caused by a methodology that weights poor children’s achievement more than the achievement of their more affluent peers. The demographic trend our community has experienced over the recent years, with lesser-affluent students transferring from lesser school districts, has had a devastating effect on our ranking. The argument of the validity of this methodology is a complex question with no clear answer. What is clear is that we must seal this achievement gap before the dike breaks.

Since the demographical winds have shifted in our community we have noticed a demonstrable and considerable decline in the level of excellence we have come to expect from our school system. I don’t believe this is a coincidence and other communities’ experiences would validate my observations.

The time has come to shine the Lantern of Diogenes on our community to illuminate the ugly truth and take some remedial action. We owe it to the taxpayer, the children, and the students and teachers who help build our once unassailable reputation. This point is beyond contestation, the argument lies to what shall be done, not if it should be done. With that in mind, I would make the following suggestions:

1) All transfer students will be tested and placed according to their merits. If you read at a fourth-grade level, you go to fourth grade.

2) We finally admit to ourselves that we need to rethink our arrangement with Harper Woods and examine extricating our children from that situation.

3) Call upon the Grosse Pointe School Board Members to individually publish plans to rectify the travesty that has befallen our quaint community.

I am GP For Life and the time for debate and discussion has come and gone like a thief in the night. We must now act decisively and intelligently.

GP is Not Hazard County Wed, 12 Feb 2014 19:30:50 +0000 facebook_563921485

This Is Not Aldi Sun, 08 Dec 2013 23:07:47 +0000 EBT System is Down, Forever...

EBT System is Down, Forever…

One of the pet peeves of those of us who live in Grosse Pointe is having to wait more than 15-seconds to find a parking spot that isn’t more than 30-feet away from our destination. To some this may seem unreasonable, but we’re very busy people. No only do we have our own complex lives to live, but we have to clean up others’ mistakes. So, is it too much to ask to have good parking set aside for us?

Nowhere is the parking question more prevalent than at Kroger in The Village. Many of these spots are taken up by people from outside our community, most of whom mysteriously have handicapped parking permits, despite a lack of any evident disability.

Since the 57% of us who pay taxes have places to be, so that the other 43% of you can live a life of leisure provided by our production, I have come up with a plan. We in Grosse Pointe should pass a tax on all Electronic Benefit Transfer sales! I think something like a 50% tax rate on EBT sales or perhaps an override on property taxes for establishments who accept EBT cards. I don’t know, I am not a lawyer.  

What I do know is that not only this will take some of the strain off of our tax-paying residents, but it will free up much need parking in The Village. With the extra time we save not looking for a parking spot and not waiting behind someone leisurely pushing a cart down the middle of an aisle all while pretending they’re not in the way, we can go out and earn more money to pay for the EBT. It’s really a win-win. I never thought a new tax could be the answer to one of my problems. Who knew?

So, go ahead and contact the City of Grosse Pointe Council and let them know that you want to help the less fortunate.

Celebrating Victory Wed, 27 Nov 2013 20:07:21 +0000 Guess who isn't invited to the New World!

Guess who isn’t invited to the New World!

It’s that time of year again, when our wayward progeny return to the nest to break bread with our families while nursing raucous hangovers from the evening before. Yes, it’s Thanksgiving. What reason could possibly be good enough to combine two of my favorite pastimes, binge drinking and binge eating? Our victory over the savage, that’s what.

Sure, the first Thanksgiving was celebrated alongside the more native members of our country in 1621 and celebrated the bountiful harvest. As time went on, we had other things to give thanks for. In 1777 the President of the Continental Congress set aside a day in December to thank God for the crushing defeat we levied to the British. That said, the modern Thanksgiving holiday as we know it was established in 1941 when President Franklin Roosevelt signed into law a bill designed to celebrate his family’s swindling of Manhattan from the native peoples for 60 guilders.

Today we celebrate our nation’s accomplishments by heading out to the bars to reconnect with friends who were driven out of Metro Detroit by affirmative action hiring practices and drink till we blackout. We’ll wake up tomorrow and groggily chug mimosa after mimosa while watching the Thanksgiving parade on television while looking for the trashcan we hit on the way home. It will be another glorious and beautiful day in Grosse Pointe, and while that is reason enough to be thankful, we should remember that we weren’t given this land – we had to take it.

GP For Life Addresses the Masses Fri, 08 Nov 2013 14:54:51 +0000 496380998_8bf59524e3_o


Occasionally, I like to wade into the unwashed masses of humanity and anoint them with my knowledge. Recently, on a local forum I engaged the masses to combat a popular myth that Grosse Pointe’s best days are behind them. You can find one my responses below, unedited, and the full thread here.

Originally Posted by Bham1982

I think the Pointes will always be fine and relatively desirable, but I do think the home values have suffered relative to Oakland County (though admit I’m biased). Compare GP Park to Birmingham. I live in Birmingham and will admit the architecture in GP Park is 100 times better. No tacky mega-bigfoot homes, and relatively few bungalows/future teardown jobs. Yet Birmingham real estate values blow away the Pointes. I think, very conservatively, per square foot values run 2 to 2.5 times those of the Pointes. In Birmingham, 500k will not give you a family sized house and definitely nothing renovated and non-bungalow; in the Pointes it will give you something big, beautiful and distinctive, and in move-in condition.

GP For Life:

Bham gets it. Oakland County in general has some architectural abominations that merit trials at The Hague and there’s some gorgeous classic architecture as well. The prevalence of architectural atrocities is far-lower in the Pointes.

GP is located on one of the nicest freshwater lakes in the country for pleasure boating and part of the world’s largest freshwater systems. We can be at our boats in five minutes and on the water in ten. Our parks are essentially private clubs unto themselves, with comparable amenities and private marinas.

Another thing that’s oft overlooked is that GP is legitimately a community. Kids ride their bikes to school, to the corner store, and to the parks. We don’t have a highway running through the middle of town (which is nice, but is a drawback too) separating us from each other.

GP people, by and large, are more polite. I work in Bloomfield Hills and when I hold the door open for ladies and say please and thank you, people look at me strangely. Birmingham has less of those people, but in BH I am clearly an outlier.

Grosse Pointe has more of a classic sense of style as well. You see far less $300 jeans and Ed Hardy t-shirts and far more polos and pearls, as we say.

Yes, there’s less of a nightlife in GP, but then I can be downtown in ten minutes. I would also argue that the Park strip is coming back and with the increase economic activity in the area soon we’ll be back to the days of weekend evenings looking like mardi gras.

Is there less shopping in GP? Absolutely, go to Sommerset around Christmas time and then tell me you’re not thankful that it is 30 minutes away. The only thing worse than a mall at Christmas is listening to people complain about driving there the rest of the year. You can have your shopping and droves of aspirational undesirables clogging your roadways, thank you very much.

GP is far more tied to downtown than BH and Birmingham, which is tied far more to the faceless glass towers of Troy. Right now, I would be short suburban office space and long downtown office space, if I were looking at the trend. As for the demographic picture of GP (BH and Birmingham, as well) having masses of old people, just look at our county’s demographics. It was just worse here because for the last eight years young people couldn’t get a job in SE Michigan to save their life. That trend is starting to reverse.

By the way, someone mentioned something about liquid wealth in GP. I will say this, one wealth management office from a bulge bracket bank is the second-largest in the world as measured by assets under management. There’s an astounding amount wealth in SE Michigan in general and GP in particular, it’s just that there wasn’t any wealth generation for the last ten years.

Don’t count out GP, or BH and Birmingham. Though, I would say Birmingham is probably overvalued right now from a market perspective, otherwise I like that town. BH is just ghastly and filled with people of poor breeding and even worse bearing. I wouldn’t live there if you paid me.


Don’t Feed the Bears Thu, 24 Oct 2013 22:40:51 +0000 timthumb

It’s that time of the year again when droves of proles diagonally-cross Mack at a gentle saunter and invade our neighborhood in search of handouts and people to victimize. No, this isn’t The Purge, it is Halloween in Grosse Pointe.

As our children take to the streets, adorably adorned as miniature cosplay enthusiasts, children from outside of our socioeconomic strata come to feast upon the sugary and delicious fat of our society. Now, before any of you bleeding-heart idiots out there say: “GP, you can’t have a problem with poor children getting candy on Halloween, can you?” I say, no I would be happy if it were just the children of the poors, as I am a charitable man.  However, it’s not just children and it’s not just people who want to participate in the festive tradition.

The problems begin with the fact that teenagers show up with an angry scorn as a costume and a discarded WIC-Sack (grocery bag) and angrily demand candy for themselves and their “auntie” at home. Then we have the fact that they pile into conversion vans from the late-80’s and cruise our neighborhoods and disgorging their spawn at every corner all while clogging our roadways when I am trying to get home.  Also, I am sorry but a garbage bag with armholes isn’t a Halloween costume.  Seriously, I get that we all weren’t born into wealth, but at least use some creativity when trying to con “the man”.

Here’s a few pro-tips for dealing with the sugar-seeking interlopers:

1. Van stops, sprinklers go on.

2. Give away fruit to people outside the area.

3. Hand out books.


Have a safe and fun Halloween!

Please God Let It Be… Thu, 19 Sep 2013 17:03:11 +0000 Robobro

GP For Life’s vision for the future.

Police Chief Craig has a special announcement on Friday. I am betting he got the letter about my idea for a “robobro” to clean up the streets of Detroit. Let’s hope so.