Drunk Boating — That’s a Thing?

drunk-boating

 

Too drunk to drive a boat? Apparently that is a thing. According to the Detroit Free Press federal law regulates how drunk you may be while operating a pleasure craft. I am sorry; did we lose a war or something? I am pretty sure generations of Grosse Pointers didn’t bravely sail, steam, or charge, into harm’s way so that we could be told how much is too much to drink while boating. Next thing you know, they are going to tell you that you can’t drink and sail.  It’s too horrible to even think about.

It’s nice that big brother can take time from redistributing our wealth and scanning our emails to really show they care about the children, by regulating how much you can drink when operating a boat. This regulation is apparently desperately needed because:

“According to the Michigan Department of Natural Resources, nearly half of all boating accidents involve alcohol, and passengers are 10 times more likely to fall overboard when they have consumed alcohol.”

So, you mean half of all accidents on boats involve alcohol? Well, considering 100% of my boating involves alcohol, I’d say there’s about zero correlation. Oh, and while on the subject of correlation, correlation does not equal causation. Therefore, if 50% of something involves something else, those two variables might be linked, but it doesn’t prove a causal relationship.

The day this drunk-boating legislation was signed into law the grass probably died at Arlington National Cemetery. I am glad my grandfather isn’t alive to see this sad state of affairs.

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