Aaron Foley, noted local author and editor, first reported that three women felt they were racially-discriminated against at a local eatery in Grosse Pointe Farms on Saturday February 18, 2017. While I initially suspected that this was a simple miscommunication, I remained relatively quiet on the issue. Forgoing my usual barrages of demanding proof and evidence of the accusations levied against one of our small-business owners. As picketers mobbed the small business hurling accusations of racism, the lawyer of the proprietor quietly held a press conference at another local small business, where he showed evidence contradicting the claims of three Grosse Pointe women. In the light of this evidence, I feel I have to come forward and submit my view of the subject.
As an important member of the Grosse Pointe community, people oftentimes seek out my council on matters pertaining to the paragon of communities in which we live. One such concerned citizen brought a plan to dissolve Grosse Pointe into a cauldron of peasantry to my attention. My immediate reaction to this heresy was to wish that the author be felled by pancreatic cancer and to curse a pox upon his family and all their descendants till the end of time. After a little further consideration and contemplation, I have downgraded my level of vitriol to post-Inquisition levels of disdain. However, make no mistake, what the author suggests is pure heretical balderdash.